Monday, December 22, 2014

10 Things I've Learned In My One Month of Marriage

Today marks exactly ONE month of being a married woman! Here are ten things I've learned so far.

1. Laugh at your differences
Like I've told you before, my husband is 100% introvert and I am 100% extrovert. (For the love, if you don't know what this means please google it.) That being said, we have many.. many... MANY differences, on top of being two totally different genders! One thing I've learned in being married to the guy, is that we have got to laugh off our differences. It makes marriage so much more fun, and we are literally laughing ALL of the time. 

2. Be weird
If there is one thing that Ken and I are almost always saying to each other on a daily basis, it's "You're weird. Like, you are SO...WEIRD."
And we love it! Whether I'm booty shakin' on him in the kitchen, or he's singing at the top of his lungs to K-Ci and Jo Jo , we are always just plain weird. I told Ken just yesterday how I love to get to see the weird, no walls up, side of him that literally no one else gets to see. It's special. It keeps our home filled with fun, vulnerable, transparent moments that result in genuine laughs and silly kisses. 
Found this on Pinterest the other day and of course I HAD to pin it.

3. Only buy one big couch
Alright, we didn't plan this one, it sort of just ended up being the only piece of furniture that we purchased for our front room (I call it the front room, Ken calls it the living room- yet another dumb difference we choose to laugh at- but it's my blog not his so in this instance, we'll call it the front room). Anyways, I love our couch because duh, it forces us to cuddle whenever we watch TV. 

4. Give each other space
That being said about the whole couch thing, I have definitely learned that if we give each other space and "chill time", it works out in both of our favor. I will stick to the quality over quantity rule every time (like I mentioned in a previous blog on making long distance work -rule #2). We try and make it a point each day to have individual time to ourselves. Sometimes, I'll be in the bedroom, and he will be in the front room (living room, whatever). Everyone needs time to themselves, there's nothing wrong with that in any relationship- in fact, it's healthy!

5. Serve beyond your own self will
This was part of our vows, and I will be 100% honest with you that Ken and I probably have to choose to do this on a daily basis. I don't wake up chipper and ready to make breakfast and do dishes at 8 or 9 in the morning every day. But! When I wake up and make a conscious decision to love him and serve him to the best of my ability and with all of my heart, it makes me love him that much more. Crazy how choosing to love someone beyond yourself makes you feel 10 times the love than if you chose yourself every time. 

6. Pray together
This has been key to keeping Ken and I on the same page, and just functioning in a healthy manner as we learn more about one another and are introduced to each other's differences. We started this before we were married but have continued to pray every night before we go to bed. We desire that our whole lives and our marriage be centered around Christ, and as we pray together, we see just how much God is doing in our lives and are able to thank Him together every night. 
I've learned this is my absolute favorite part of being married. 

7. Read the Bible together
Ken and I have been on the same Bible reading plan since September, and it's been so fun to see how God is intertwining our lives together through the Bible. It keeps us accountable to uplift and love one another on a daily basis, just as Christ so tenderly and graciously loves us. 

8. Eat as many meals together as possible
Okay, whether we are eating our traditional tuna sandwiches after Ken works out every day, or breakfast or dinner, we are always having conversation. This conversation helps us stay on the same page, talk about our Bible reading time, and allow us to discuss any problems we may be facing in our own lives. It's precious. I know that not everyone can do this, I know life is CRAZY for some. I also know that it's amazing to see how much we become one through this. We create this sense of community with one another over an un-interrupted meal together. 

9. Be on the same page about everything
Money, plans for the month, plans for the day, or heck even how much you want to spend on each person's Christmas gift this year... we have learned that it is important to stay on the same page. We do this through many of the ways that I've communicated through this post already. We have also learned to immediately express to the other person when we don't feel on the same page. 

10. Humbly, graciously, and vulnerably express your needs
Being such opposite personalities (and opposite genders) sometimes a simple change in approach or affection can change the whole game. I will find myself wishing Ken would do something more frequently, or maybe I'm having just an off day and need him to sit and let me talk for a good 30 minutes. When I express my need to him, or him to me, it allows open, vulnerable conversation that helps us learn about one another and the way we tick. When we express our needs to one another, though they don't always have to be met right then (and often can't) it lets each person practice meeting the need in a more natural situation. 
(This is where the humbly, graciously, vulnerably expressing comes in- 
never demand that your needs be met)
 For example, if I say to Ken that I need more affection, a long hug right then wouldn't necessarily fill that void. But, when he listens, and talks it through with me, then later that night gives me a long, loving hug, it means so much more than the affection I was missing. It means that he listened, he heard me, now he's putting it to practice because he truly cares for my needs. 

Any marriage advice for us? We'd love to hear it! 
OR if you have any comments or questions, feel free to comment or contact me! 

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